For the last year or so I've been doing my very best to make a smooth transition into my new lifestyle to eventually reach the point where I don't think this is for me. They preach HONOR COURAGE COMMITMENT into our heads and recruiters take a very patriotic volunteer who signs up to serve their country and places them in environments with lazy bastards who only see their jobs as collecting pay checks instead of serving their country. I've never been in such an awful environment where moral and character lacks greatly....
On a positive note, I've been fortunate, or unfortunate, to live in Hawaii and I'm kinda enjoying the island life with the exception of being away from family. Anyway, the island has been awesome to me and the locals are wonderful people! Hawaii has so much culture compacted onto this tiny little island : ) I guess loving my job and loving the island is too much like wanting my cake and eating it too, or something like that lol
These days my thoughts are consumed with getting out our staying in. As far as getting out, I'm excited to be potentially able to get back into what I love and deeply desire doing and that's working with animals. On the other end of things, with the economy still being shitty and health care going in such a negative direction, I'm being advised to stay in and complete my contract. These days are as tough as they are long.... I find myself looking for spiritual guidance but it seems as though it's nowhere to be found, or God is leaving me to figure this out on my own or challenging me to find different ways to listen to what his advice and instructions are for the direction of my life. I'm just hating the mixed answers and opinions I'm receiving from people I though loved and supported me. Seems as though I'm always stuck between a rock and a hard place and it's up to me to find a way to find peace of mind and be and do what I want to, I WANT TO!
Guess I'm off to meditate and just sit still and listen to what God has to say to me.
I think I'm done venting for the moment.....
